Sometimes we feel like we’re about to burst. Between the pressures of work, home, school, friends, significant other, and bills, we can sometimes feel like we just can’t take it anymore. Then we get hit with an unexpected passing of a loved one, coming down with the flu, or finding out that our dog has chewed up our favorite pair of shoes. Soon we find ourselves reaching for that panic button, because we know the top is about to blow off this pressure cooker.

For those of you who have followed my blogs, you’re probably expecting me to say “take a minute and just breathe” right about now. Yes, breathing is of course essential, but when we find ourselves in the crosshairs of a full-blown melt down, we need a little more than some deep breathing exercises. We need to release that pressure valve and release it fast.

Let’s get a little nerdy and talk about what’s happening in the brain when we find ourselves in these panicked moments. When we’re calm, cool, and collected, we’re living in the “front room” of our brain; we’re able to think and act logically and make rational decisions. The more our anxiety and frustration increases, the further back in the house we go, until we land in the “back room” of our brain where we can only employ our fight, flight, freeze, or appease reactions. When we get locked into this back room, it’s almost impossible for us to think clearly, make rational decisions, and respond logically. I bring this up because the time to decide what to do when we’re in panic-mode is not when we’re locked in that back room. Rather, we need to develop our game plan when we’re calmly relaxing in our front room.

So what are you going to do? What's brought you back to center in the past? What’s helped you to walk away from that panic button? Now is the time to think through your plan. If you’ve gotten into a fight with your significant other or a friend, walk away. Remember, you’re amped up so you’re bound to say things that you don’t really mean. If you’re becoming overwhelmed with bills, set them down and go for a stroll around the block. You’re logical brain is not working well at this point; the last thing you want to do is make a mistake and end up sending two payments instead of one. You walk in the door after a long day at work and you find that Fido has destroyed your living room blinds. Let him outside to run and release some energy, then go shut yourself in your bathroom and get lost in YouTube-land; don’t take your frustrations out on Fido.  

While you’re doing your action planning, take the time to look up different de-stressing techniques. Deep breathing, grounding, yoga, and meditation are all activities that you can do by yourself. If those don’t resonate with you, think about who you’re going to reach out to in those times of stress. Who can you call and talk to when you’re feeling like your head is about to burst? Regardless of your identified action plan, do something that feels right and will work for you.

Stress and anxiety, as awful as they feel, don’t need to hold us captive. We are all capable of casting these feelings aside and deflating their power. Although, we must plan ahead and develop these strategies when we’re in a good head space. Ever hear the phrase, “the best defense is a strong offense”? Well, here is a good way to put that phrase into action. The more you plan, practice, and implement your de-stressing strategies, the less often you’ll find yourself looking for that panic button.