In my last post - the first in a series on EMDR - I shared about an out-of-the-blue panic attack I experienced during an MRI for a medical screening. This was my first ever panic attack. In hopes of avoiding any future panic attacks, I decided to pursue EMDR therapy for myself.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy - aka “Reprocessing Therapy”) is a type of therapy that has been scientifically proven to help people overcome debilitating anxiety and panic attacks - and reported to produce results faster than typical talk therapy alone.

For more details about the mechanics of why and how panic attacks even happen in the first place, as well as to learn more about what EMDR is, how it works, and why I felt confident it would be an effective way to prevent future panic attacks, revisit my first post in this series on EMDR.

EMDR: Therapist recommended “magic”

As I considered EMDR, another more-seasoned therapist affirmed that she too believed that EMDR would be a clinically sound and wise decision for me to pursue. She - having personally undergone EMDR to successfully treat and overcome post-partum related panic attacks - referred to EMDR as “magic.” While hardly a technical or clinical term, “magic” was a ringing endorsement that reaffirmed the belief I already had and why I had gotten trained in EMDR prior to this experience. 

So with that extra feather in my cap, I found an EMDR-certified therapist - we’ll call her Sara - whose bio I resonated well enough with to book an initial appointment. And below is practical insight into the journey that unfolded.

In-person or virtual? Both work well.

First, I was grateful to see that Sara conducted her sessions both in person and online. Reason being, I (as an EMDR-trained therapist myself) knew that EMDR is just as effective whether done in-person or virtually. Additionally, it’s optimal to be able to maintain a weekly cadence across the process - so knowing she offered flexibility in her session formats reassured me that, regardless of scheduling challenges or conflicts, a hybrid meeting model would ensure I could meet her with the frequency and convenience that would best support optimal results - and at a pace that would allow me to ideally conclude treatment prior to my next MRI. 

Little did I know - nor would I have believed - that my treatment would be done in less than 3 months. While everyone is different - so no EMDR therapist can guarantee from the get-go how fast or slow your process will be - the timeframe in which I experienced meaningful results helped me understand why my colleague had used the word “magic.”

 Phase I: Basic background & connection 

The first few sessions were much like standard talk-therapy…which was key to establishing the type of comfort and rapport necessary for EMDR - or any therapy - to be effective. 

In the first session, Sara asked what brought me there at this point in time, as well as asked about my previous experiences with therapy. While I have other life happenings that could be ripe topics for therapy – I made clear to her that my intention, priority and goal was to focus my EMDR therapy specifically on the panic attack to ensure that the next time I had an MRI I would not have to worry about having another panic attack. This helped us remain focused in our work and on our goal, as opposed to meandering into the type of day-to-day events, thoughts or bothers that would typically be fair game - even encouraged and healthy to acknowledge and process - in regular talk-therapy. I suspect that this type of “focus” lends to the “efficiency” for which EMDR is often celebrated. 

In the next session, Sara gathered additional info about my background and history.  She asked me to tell her about my childhood, my relationship with my parents and siblings. She inquired about what type of work I did as well as was curious to better understand the nature and state of my most primary and/or meaningful relationships; She wanted to know about any recent noteworthy instances of out-of-the-ordinary stress, duress or transition. Finally she was curious to know what I believed my strengths to be, how I tended to cope with challenging life events, and what if any role spirituality played in my life.

I suspected that in getting a holistic sense for me and my story, she trusted that my system - both consciously and subconsciously - would organically surface and share situations and details that (whether or not I realized) it would be “grist for the EMDR mill” so to speak.

In the third appointment, Sara asked me to share more about the actual panic attack - the circumstances surrounding it, how and where I experienced it in my body, any general sensations that accompanied it and what images or sensory details I most associated with it. 

From there she provided a general roadmap of what to expect - procedurally and emotionally - amid the EMDR process. She explained that our next phase would focus on “resourcing” to help assess and bolster my window of tolerance before we delved into revisiting and reprocessing the original thoughts, beliefs and emotions related to the original panic attack (aka “the target memory”).

While I am typically the therapist guiding my clients through EMDR, it was a relief to have someone else creating and holding that space for me for a change. As a practitioner, I was obviously familiar with and believed in the process for others. But now on the other side of it as a participant, I appreciated how her taking time in the first few sessions to get to know me as well as to field my questions about the process helped create the sense of comfort, acceptance and safety I mentioned earlier. That security is especially important for a therapy like EMDR that includes technical mechanics that may not initially feel as natural as talk-therapy. It reminded me how important it is for a client to have a sense of comfort with their therapist, as well as to be honest and open about any questions, hesitations or fears they may have about EMDR.

Up Next? Resourcing, reprocessing & rubber meets the road

In my next post(s), I will provide practical insights into future sessions and what the “resourcing” phase I mentioned above entails…and how it serves to support and even bolster a window of tolerance. Then I will share what the “reprocessing” phase is like - including the bilateral stimulation that in many ways is EMDR’s hallmark and secret sauce. Finally, I will share what the final phase of positive “installation” looks and feels like. Then, eventually we will put my own EMDR treatment and results to the test: I will share what my experience with my next MRI is like. And whether in fact EMDR did work its magic and eradicate the panic attacks as hoped. 

…so, stay tuned! And if in the meantime, you are interested in exploring more about EMDR for yourself or someone you care about, please do reach out to me.