Part of the therapeutic relationship when working with kids, teens, and young adults includes the process of learning what’s popular according to age, generation, culture, grade, developmental level… The factors are extensive. The phrase, “teach me about that” presents frequently in the teletherapy room even more than it did when sharing a physical space with clients. While, perhaps some think, ‘duh,’ you’re using technology in session, so technology and all that encompasses is evermore abundant in-session; I’ve recently reflected on and realized the new, and in many ways more intimate connection technology has allowed for in sessions. What may have felt like or seemed off-limits when in the room together, is now folded into the work itself. 

Technology, how to use it, how to connect with others, find balance, discover the challenges of impulse control, instant gratification, and media’s influence on an implicit and explicit level has emerged in the therapeutic space. That’s not to say it wasn’t there before, but it has a new promotion, it’s unavoidable. 

A few notes of what one (me) therapist has noticed: 

With younger clients, the youths, if you will, online games, Snapchat, Tik Tok, video games, YouTube… These are the tools that fuel social connection and communication. While the salient concern of balance and limiting screen time is paramount in most households, there is a degree to which, without appropriate exposure to tech time, socialization would be limited. 

Teens are establishing how to communicate without seeing friends in-person as often. The platforms that were once supplemental have taken on a frontline position in connectivity. One (perhaps not so cool) may assume texting is how everyone communicates. One would be wrong! Snapchat is apparently the unofficial, new, best way to keep in touch with friends (or so it seems). Overall, there is so much space for feeling left out, misunderstanding tone, making an impulse decision that impacts others… These social networking apps are precarious for adults with fully developed PFCs.. now, teens must navigate setting healthy boundaries and healthy connections in the midst of virtual learning, and a national pandemic (just to name a few additional stressors present). 

But adults, adults are figuring out how to be on video and conference calls all day, and sometimes at night for some virtual socializing. Plus, for anyone with children, you’re also supporting your tiny humans as they try to use tech safely and effectively. There’s still the whole home-schooling type setup, because virtual learning, let's be real, is rarely a parental hands off activity. Oh, and we are dealing with the global pandemic, murder hornets, and a political tensions and changes (again, just to name a few of the 2020 delights we survived through (she says with extreme sarcasm and a sort of laugh/cry). 

These are just a few reflections on about 10 months of teletherapy from a therapist continuing to learn with her clients, try news things, and support the reality of human, vulnerable, and life moments. I’ve never known more about gaming or tech; it’s brought me closer to my clients in many ways.

We’re in one another’s homes now. This brings heightened intimacy, and extraordinary opportunity. Together, we will continue to learn and grow with humility, kindness, and grace.