Some tweens and teens may cringe at the idea of going to family therapy. The notion of being in a room with most or all of one's family for almost an entire hour might even make some feel squeamish and nauseous. Family therapy can sometimes get a bad wrap, and many times it is because there are some common misconceptions about the process. Well, we are here to de-bunk a couple of those myths!
Myth #1: My parents are going to just rag on me the entire time. You'll never get to hear what I have to say.
While we can't promise you that parents won't bring up some subjects or topics that you might be sensitive about (or just flat out hate to hear), we can say that one important piece of family therapy is establishing some ground rules. Parents and teens both need to have their voice in therapy, but it's all about how you say it that makes the difference. The first few sessions of family therapy tend to include some information about communication and deciding together what format is the best option for the family. Not all family therapy is done with the whole family coming in together for every single session. At GirlTalk Therapy, we collaborate with the family to decide when it is best to have sessions with just the teenager, just the parents, or everyone together. Confidentiality and ground rules are a big part of that conversation too!
Myth #2: Anytime my child and I get in the same room together it ends up horribly. I think he/she just needs some space to talk on his/her own.
Having a confidential space for your teen to talk on her own is a really great thing. It's awesome that any parent would want this for his/her child. However, real progress is made when it involves the whole system - not just a part of it. Typically, therapy can drag on for a really long time if the parents aren't involved in change. A teen may be helped by talking with her therapist alone, but how will things get better if it isn't talked about outside of therapy? Part of the family therapist's job is to connect family members together and bridge the gaps in communication.
If you haven't considered family therapy as an option or have been weary about its effectiveness, it might be time to try it out!