emotional intelligence

Social & Emotional Intelligence

Your social and emotional IQ is an important part of success in relationships, school, and career. These may be foreign terms to some, so let’s break it down with some simple definitions.

Emotional Intelligence is a person’s ability to be self aware, detect emotions in others, and manage those emotional cues effectively. To have healthy Emotional Intelligence, one must be able to identify, assess, and regulate a broad spectrum of emotions. Daniel Goleman conceived of these elements of Emotional IQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Social Intelligence is a person’s ability to navigate and negotiate complex social interactions and experiences. It means one is able to act wisely in social situations, particularly challenging ones. Social IQ requires empathy, just as Emotional IQ does. It requires one to develop an understanding for what others’ perceive as valuable.

Social IQ and Emotional IQ go hand in hand, and they are, thankfully, getting more and more attention in our schools and in parenting literature.

Developing these qualities in ourselves and in our children can be done through mindfulness exercises and practices. Try some of these at home with yourself or pass along to your teen.

Mindfulness Exercises



Keep it Positive!

Raising a tween can be full of challenges, which is why it's so important to take time out to remind yourself why your tween is special. John Gottman, author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, has found through his research that it takes 5 positive interactions to counterbalance 1 negative interaction! When you think about your relationship with your tween, what does that look like? It's easy to get caught up in the rule-making, limit-setting, behavior-correcting mode, so take a moment to make your own Top Ten List of What I Love About My Tween! Here are a few ideas inspired by the amazing tweens we know...

1. She is full of creativity!

2. She has opinions and is learning to think for herself!

3. Her dreams are taking shape--She doesn't want to be a princess anymore, she wants to be a doctor...or an engineer...or start her own business!

What are some of the things you love most about your tween?