What's So Scary About Therapy?
What's so scary about therapy? Why is so hard to make that phone call or send that message to see a therapist? What really holds us back from engaging in something that we logically know will help?
There are a few thoughts that come to mind immediately:
Despite an increase in mental health awareness, there are still stigmas that remain that cloud therapy with a place that people only go when they have "really big problems." It's scary to feel that you need to go to therapy to help you with your life.
Money is scary. "How can I afford to go to therapy?" "I should be able to cope with my problems on my own and not have to pay for someone to help me."
Talking to someone who you don't know and being open and vulnerable with them feels scary. We fear judgment. (Circle back to the first bullet point and that feeling that someone is going to validate the fear that you're "crazy" or have "really big problems.")
When we get into a place of fear, our ancient instincts kick in. We shut down, we avoid, we deny, we reason against reason, we hide ... you get the picture. One part of getting yourself in the door of a therapist you can feel some connection with is that you can bring up all these fears. It's so good to talk about the fears that were (and maybe still are) a part of getting yourself to the point of seeing a therapist. Let's just address these fears a little more, and hopefully they'll help to soothe that fear in a kind and gentle way:
Look into a crowd, close your eyes, spin around and point to anybody when you stop. That person needs therapy. Do it again. That person needs therapy. Again. Yup, therapy can help them, too. We all could use it - mental health issues or not. A lot about therapy is finding the right fit, and with the right fit you can be a in a place that suits and benefits you and your needs. You aren't crazy. If anything, you're more normal than you think (and feel).
Sure, most therapy costs money. But, therapy is not forever. There are places that offer sliding scale and therapy doesn't stop when you walk out the door. Think about your sessions and your work outside of therapy so you are taking every opportunity to take the value of therapy into your everyday life. Talk to your therapist about your money fears.
The point of therapy is to be vulnerable. You are doing exactly what you need to do when you just put it all out there. And back to the first bullet point again - find a good fit so you can build safety to just be you.
At GT Therapy Group, we're all about self-compassion. Instead of criticism and shame, explore how these fears are a natural reaction to something new or unknown. What is that fear trying to tell you? Maybe it's not saying "don't do this," but rather, "I want you to be safe." And if it's saying the latter, how can you respond?