The Month of Gratitude, Pt 4: Gratitude as Vulnerable Engagement

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

-Brené Brown, Rising Strong

I constantly encourage my clients towards vulnerable engagement as the attitude and actions that give relationships and life substance and meaning.  There are a million ways to vulnerably engage with others and with life and today I want to talk about gratitude as vulnerable engagement. Gratitude is an acknowledgement that we have received good things from others and from life that we had no control over (acknowledging vulnerability) and an expression of our feelings in response to what we have received (engagement). It is therefore unsurprising to me that research has shown a wide range of personal benefits from practices of gratitude – ranging from a decrease in suicidal thoughts to a decrease in fat intake (for one list of researched benefits, read this article from UC Davis).

I am writing this blog in November with Thanksgiving coming in mere days.  Thanksgiving is a great holiday that encourages us to acknowledge and express gratitude and I have two suggestions for boosting and extending your gratitude benefits this Thanksgiving. The first is to start a gratitude journal. While expressing gratitude once a year is better than not expressing gratitude, the most significant benefits come from regular practices of gratitude. A gratitude journal can be as simple as listing a few things a day that you are grateful for. My second suggestion is to make your expressions of thanks interpersonal. In my experience gratitude at Thanksgiving is often transcendental, with thanks given for what life or the universe or God has provided.  Adding direct expressions of thanks to other people for what they have brought to your life by their actions and character adds relational benefits to the personal benefits of gratitude because relationships grow stronger, safer, and more satisfying through acts of vulnerable engagement.