The Power of the Unplug 

May 7, 2021 Lindsay Luongo

We live in a world of virtual distraction, constantly surrounded by ‘how to videos,’ current events, politics, and impressive TikTok dances. Social media can be wonderful for our curious minds, hungry for information, justice, inspiration, understanding, connection and laughter. It can serve as an outlet to keep our wandering imaginations satiated from a safe distance avoiding looking within and acknowledging that which we’re not ready to face.

Screen time is hard-wiring us to expect immediate gratification and to search for fast paced stimulation; altering our capacity to focus and attend. Rewatching Schitt’s Creek guarantees a safe space in which I can sink into the pedantic and yet soothing voice of Moira Rose. It hurts a little to admit, but sometimes we get too enmeshed with virtual distractions.

We’re consumed, but are we actually paying attention?

“Because we use screens for social purposes and for amusement, we all — adults and children — get used to absorbing online material, much of which was designed to be read quickly and casually, without much effort. And then we tend to use that same approach to on-screen reading with harder material that we need to learn from, to slow down with, to absorb more carefully. A result can be that we don’t give that material the right kind of attention.” -Naomi Baron

This statement points to the fixation we have to content — but is the content flooding us? If we’re being flooded, how do we become more mindful and active in our screen consumption?

Glennon Doyle talks about “The Knowing.” Giving herself ten minutes, shut within her closet, to listen to her breath. She practices letting herself sink into calm and quiet:

“I have learned that if I want to rise, I have to sink first. I have to search for and depend upon the voice of the inner wisdom instead of voices of outer approval.” (Doyle, Untamed, p.60).

When I read this, my first thought was a personal experience; ‘how many times do I look up from the menu at a restaurant and ask the person across from me what they’re getting to help me find an answer?’ For Doyle, it took stillness to unearth her true self, to trust in the decisions that she makes, and to put herself first. Stillness is what will tell me I (almost always) want a turkey club, extra pickles. Why is sitting with myself not enough?

Stillness and quiet can come with discomfort. We turn up the radio to drown out our thoughts. We lose sight of our purpose, the expectations we set for ourselves because it’s so convenient, and at times less painful, to focus outward rather than inward. There may be times that turning down the inspiring words of Lizzo grants us the stillness to realign with our own beautiful voice.

Notice your senses.

Reconnecting with our inner selves can be as simple as being present; bringing attention to our breath, the length of time we inhale and exhale and how this affects our heart rate and mood. Granting awareness to our senses as we take a walk, inhaling the sweet smell of honeysuckle and taking note of the exact pitch a cardinal has as it sings to its partner. Find something different each time you take the same route that brings you joy, acknowledging that fulfillment when it happens.

2. Establishing a check-in routine with ourselves throughout the day.

Explore using an emotion wheel, choose a feeling (or many), take a moment to reflect on one’s mind-body state, and articulate what support of need is surfacing. This process empowers a sense of trust and vulnerability to have a voice & use that voice. Checking in with what we’re feeling, why, and offering ourselves the opportunity to create space for what we need emphasizes the value of self compassion.

3. Choosing creative expression.

There are many times when words are tiring, and defining how you're feeling or what you're experiencing seems too overwhelming. Choosing different formats of self expression can evoke a new perception of and appreciation for those emotions. Start by checking in with yourself, without judgement. Ask yourself the purpose behind this beautiful creation that is you and gently remind yourself to remove judgement. Once you feel in tune, let your emotions, rather than your brain, be a guide for your movement, brush strokes, or whichever outlet you fancy.

4. Setting daily intentions.

These incredibly common distractions in our world pull us further from our purpose, our identity, and our values. Setting daily intentions can be a helpful way to stay on track to be more understanding & in tune with ourselves.

-What are the expectations I set for myself today? How will I gauge success? -What boundaries do I need to put in place in order to feel at peace?

-In what ways can I uphold the values I set for myself?

-What is within my control?

-What are my strengths when negative thoughts arise? How can I show myself kindness?

Any action you take, or don’t take, I hope you honor yourself.

“And it was when I stopped searching for home within others

And lifted the foundation of home within myself

I found there were no roots more intimate

Than those between a mind and body

That have decided to be whole.”

-Rupi Kaur

The Power of the Unplug

We live in a world of virtual distraction, constantly surrounded by “how to videos,” current events, politics, and impressive TikTok dances. Social media can be wonderful for our curious minds hungry for information, for justice, for inspiration, for an understanding, for laughter. It can serve as an outlet to keep our wandering imaginations at bay from self destruction; quieting our inner critic by listening to Moira Rose say “Bebe” for the twentieth time. Despite these beautiful aspects that many of these platforms offer, they sometimes leave us so immersed that when we pass by a mirror, the reflection we see is unfamiliar.

Screen time is hard-wiring us to expect immediate gratification and to search for fast paced stimulation; altering our capacity to focus and attend. Consider a recent article in the NY Times that quotes Naomi Baron, who is professor emerita of linguistics at American University: “Because we use screens for social purposes and for amusement, we all — adults and children — get used to absorbing online material, much of which was designed to be read quickly and casually, without much effort. And then we tend to use that same approach to on-screen reading with harder material that we need to learn from, to slow down with, to absorb more carefully. A result can be that we don’t give that material the right kind of attention.” This statement calls into question — if we can’t be as attentive to the material around us, how much of a pause are we giving to ourselves?

In her insightful book, Untamed, Glennon Doyle talks about “The Knowing.” Giving herself ten minutes, shut within her closet, to listen to her breath. She practices letting herself sink into calm and quiet. “I have learned that if I want to rise, I have to sink first. I have to search for and depend upon the voice of the inner wisdom instead of voices of outer approval.” (Doyle, Untamed, p.60). When I read this, my first thought was “how many times do we look up from the menu, asking the person across from us what they’re getting to help me find an answer?” It took stillness to unearth her true self, to trust in the decisions that she makes, and to put herself first. Stillness is what will tell me I (almost always) want a turkey club, extra pickles.

Stillness and quiet can come with discomfort. We turn up the radio to drown out our thoughts. We lose sight of our purpose, the expectations we set for ourselves because it’s so convenient, and at times less painful, to focus outward rather than inward. So, in addition to at times turning down the powerful words of Lizzo in order to realign with our own, here are some other practices that can better evoke the “American Idol” in all of us.

Notice your senses.

Establishing a check-in routine with ourselves throughout the day.

When getting together with adolescent & teen groups, each meeting we sit down together and have our routine check-in. Each member looks at an emotion wheel, chooses a feeling (or many), takes a moment to reflect on their mind-body state, and articulates what support they need based on their mood. Each member is empowered to have a voice & use it to vocalize their needs. Checking in with what we’re feeling, why, and offering ourselves the opportunity to create space for what we need emphasizes the value of self compassion.

Choosing creative expression.

There are many times when words are tiring, and defining how you're feeling or what you're experiencing seems impossible. Choosing different formats to express yourself can evoke a new perception of and appreciation for those emotions. Start by checking in with yourself, moving from your toes to your mind. Ask yourself the purpose behind this beautiful creation that is you and gently remind yourself to remove judgement. Once you feel in tune, let your emotions, rather than your brain, be a guide for your movement, brush strokes, or whichever outlet you fancy.

Setting daily intentions.