Parent Coaching: Answers to Your Top 5 Questions

Why does GT offer parent coaching?
First, we are a non-pathologizing practice. What that means is that when you show up in our office we will be compassionate, empathic and nonjudgmental. Second, we are a family systems practice. What this means is that we will explore the systems you are a part of (family, culture, community) and how these impact the challenges you're experiencing. Third, we believe that nothing happens in a vacuum. This means that whatever your child is struggling with likely impacts the rest of the family in some way. It also means that parents are an integral part of the support process. 

For parents, this means when your kid is having a hard time, we recognize that you are also likely having a hard time. Parents can feel a lot of shame and blame when their kid is struggling. At GT, you will be included in the healing and transformation process, and we will support you as much as we support your child. We recognize the vulnerability inherent in seeking support for your child, and it takes courage to be willing to engage in your own healing work in navigating your way through these struggles. 

Who participates in parent coaching? 

Parent therapy involves meeting separately with all parents who are part of your child's life whenever possible. This can include coparents, stepparents, and other adults involved in the caregiving of your children. Sometimes we work exclusively with parents, and sometimes we take a collaborative team approach, where one therapist works with your child/teen and one therapist works with parents. The goal is to address as many of the barriers to creating meaningful change as possible, to support connection in family relationships, and to develop tools for managing challenging behaviors or circumstances that cause distress to the system.

What's the structure and frequency of parent coaching? 

It depends! You'll hear that a lot with therapists. As much as we wish we could spell out an exact structure for you, the reality is that each family is unique and so our approach is as well. Some families alternate weeks of parent coaching with individual or family therapy with their child. Some families use parent coaching weekly. Some families have weekly individual sessions for their child and meet monthly for parent support. We can explore the schedule and frequency that's best for you when we have our first appointment. 

What will you ask me to do if I start parent coaching? 

We ask parents to be willing to self-reflect with compassion and curiosity. It can be uncomfortable to look at our own role in conflict, struggle or difficulty with our children, and yet sometimes through this inward exploration we can discover new strengths, new ways of coping, and heal parts of ourselves that may carry our own trauma, wounds or difficulties. We will ask you to be willing to dig a little deeper into your own experiences of how you were parented, what your beliefs and values about parenting are, and what your goals are with your children that go beyond resolving the immediate challenges. We ask you to be kind and gentle with yourself throughout this process, and we promise to hold compassion and encouragement for you along the way. 

How will parent coaching fix the problems we're having?

Most parents show up in our offices having already exhausted their supply of patience, resources, and strategies to resolve the problems their children are experiencing. You won't generally find us throwing a lot of spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. You will, however, find us exploring what's below the tip of the iceberg. This means looking into what purpose the problem is serving, why the problem is sticking around, what gets in the way of resolving the problem, and how our well-meaning attempts to fix the problem may not have worked out like we hoped. Problem solving is only a part of what we're here to do. Our primary goal is to support relationships, build resilience, and find a sustainable path forward that reduces the problem and increases the well-being of the whole family system. So we can't promise a quick fix, but we can offer you a way to strengthen your family's foundation and shore up your own support for the marathon that is parenting.