What Do I Want?

Photo by Paul Skorupskas on Unsplash

We often frame our goals from the mindset of reduction. Goals I often hear include reducing: stress, workload, loneliness and conflict. However, the opportunity presents itself to address what we really want, and to intentionally seek this. When we name what we actually do want, we open to the door to mobilized action. 

A crucial starting point, is narrowing down what we want. There are multiple means to accomplish this. Vision boards, value card sorts, therapy, and journaling are just a few options to help gain clarity. A trick, if you find yourself stuck in a reduction mindset, is to name what you’re gaining from the goal. For example, decreased workload means delegation of tasks or time spent on passion-projects. Begin to frame your goals in this way, (be specific!), and see if this feels different for you. 

• Vision boards can take the form of collage, or cutting out images that draw you in and placing them onto a blank canvas. It can be helpful to choose instinctually, and then later reflect on what aspects of that image appeal to you. 

• Journaling can also be useful. Processing your thoughts regularly on paper, helps us gain enough distance to begin to notice patterns and identify wants within ourselves. 

• Therapy can serve a similar purpose. Having an objective party assist with navigating self-reflection. As well as the having unwavering support throughout the process. 

• Value-lists or cards can be easily found online, and offer a launching point in narrowing down priorities. 

Another way to build momentum in attracting what we want, is through guided visualization. First, start out by sitting in a comfortable position, taking a few slow, deep breathes, and then allow your mind to wander to the realization that you have successfully attained what you are seeking. Let yourself sit with this desired reality and imagine what your world will look like, feel like, what you will be doing and feeling in this new way of living. Pay special attention to how your body reacts to this visualization, and what emotions you begin to sense and experience as a result. Think of this like a warm up, so that we will be more open and accepting when opportunities begin to present themselves. 

As with any growth work, we may have very human moments where we begin to explore our wants and goals and feel that they are distant. For some, this may bring up anxiety, sadness, or other emotions. That is very natural response, and a wonderful opportunity to acknowledge this and use words of compassion to soothe and even motivate yourself. Know that life goals are built one step at a time, and naming them in this context allows for you to recognize and access opportunity.